This helps take away some of the anxiety, because when you're not so focused on the performance, it's not that big of a deal if there's a little bit of stage fright, she says.
There's plenty of other things you can do while hanging out with a non-erect penis!
Then Skyler tells people to completely ditch the idea that sex is a goal-oriented act with orgasm being the big finish.
It can also help to tell your partner (either before you start or when it happens) that hey, sometimes it takes your penis a while to warm up or sometimes it comes and goes as it pleases — and that they shouldn't take it personally and you won't let it ruin the moment.When it happens, take a few deep breaths, focus on your partner, and go back to doing whatever was feeling good before."If they approach that with authentic confidence, the partner is usually like 'OK, cool,'" says Skyler."Remember, you're more than just your penis." Here are a few other possible explanations for erectile dysfunction: Whiskey dick happens, says Skyler.But it can also screw with your boner at other inopportune times.
So if this mostly happens during finals or other times when you're skimping on sleep, that could explain it.
If you're already nervous and picking up random partners at parties or bars, you might also be calming your nerves and upping your confidence with gin and tonics. Alcohol is a depressant and it has a tendency to screw with your boner, so if you're typically drinking before these hookups, that could be the issue.
And again, even if this just happened once, the anxiety of it happening again could be what's making your boner disappear every other time, says Skyler.
If this sounds like you, try switching up your masturbation technique or using your non-dominant hand.
Uncooperative boners might be related to low testosterone, which could be caused by anything from being overweight or stressed to having a chronic health condition, says Paduch.
I've been thinking that maybe I should pop a Viagra or something the next time I think I'm gonna get lucky, just to build my confidence a bit, but that's really my last resort.