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Andre talked to his friend about what had happened. It turned out that she had never had any intention of having a boyfriend: she just wanted to have sex. Kenny, a Canadian man, met a lot of Japanese women in Tokyo who showed intense interest in him. ‘When I went out to clubs, it was like shooting fish in a barrel.’ Kenny didn’t mention that he was married (to a Japanese woman) and looking for sexual intimacy that his marriage didn’t provide.

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I moved here permanently in 2008, at which point I gave up eating cheeseburgers, wearing wrinkled t-shirts, and speaking English. I first came to Japan in 2003, and started studying Japanese shortly thereafter.Andre, the Jamaican man, met a Japanese girl in a chat room.At that time, he lived in the States and she lived in Japan. Having gone through a long-distance relationship, they found that their bond had become stronger.In Japan, people tend to rely on non-verbal cues more than the literal meaning of messages. There’s nothing wrong with short-term dating and hook-ups.

These non-verbal cues are not obvious to everybody. The problems here are the differences in expectation and the dishonesty. Do Japanese women date Indian and other South Asian guys? The easiest way to confirm this is to visit Indian restaurants in Japan.

When he tells university girls that he is from Kenya, many of them just remark, ‘Is that in Africa? When they learn that Joshua isn’t from the states, they quickly lose interest.

Once, his Tanzanian friend told him, ‘Hey, I’m meeting this girl and I’ve told her I’m from the US.

One of the things he likes about her is that she doesn’t ask dangerous, leading questions such as ‘Who is this girl in your photo?

’ ‘It’s nice, because it means she trusts me,’ he says.

When I asked him what kind of advice he would give to western guys, he said ‘Don’t find them in a bar.’ James remembers meeting a Japanese girl in an Irish pub in Tokyo. He still liked her, so he decided to give it another try. (He says that rock musicians tend to not pay attention to clothes.) She and Charles hit it off well, and they exchanged contact details. In fact, she didn’t have any interest in western culture. He got tickets for a concert of UA, her favourite Japanese artist, and asked her to come. They have now been together for one and a half years.