I’ll be the first to admit that I am vain; when I can’t fit into a beloved outfit I was planning to wear because of my weight, I get upset.Dating my boyfriend hasn’t magically made me okay with my weight’s fluctuations, but what his presence has done it make me feel beautiful in his eyes no matter what, and look at why I might be gaining weight. When I get bad news, I want to soothe myself with salt.
If I suddenly gained 20 pounds in a month for no apparent reason, he would ask me about it, but not in a menacing, shaming way.I didn’t know it was possible to differentiate those two, since I’d always experienced comments about any weight gain as a negative.While all fat men aren’t necessarily funny, pop culture has socialized Everyone Looks Thin Next To A Fat Guy Let’s face it—for every one study that says men aren’t judged for their bodies, there’s another 10 saying that women are positively flayed for theirs.So partnering with a man who’s not obsessed with his body might make a woman feel a little more secure about her own.In his case, I believe it’s genetic; he’s been heavy since a very young age, and didn’t slim down even when playing football twice a day. That’s something you can’t hide when you live with someone, nor would I want to.
The fact that he knows I have trigger foods, like potato chips, means he won’t leave them in the house, but also that when I do have a binge eating episode, he is kind about it.But it also may explain why women are attracted to fat men in general—everyone wants to be with someone they trust. There’s a substantial amount of evidence that women are more attracted to men who can make them laugh.Of course, skinny politicians like Anthony Weiner sometimes sneak in under the radar. (In tribute to everything wrong with the world, it doesn’t work the other way around).Knowing that he’s dealt with actual discrimination because of his size has forced me to ask myself tough questions when I do worry about my weight: namely, what am I really worried about? It’s a vicious cycle, so living with someone who simply doesn’t let himself care about what other people think is a constant revelation.READ MORE: What Do You Do When Your Friend Says She’s Fat?To these people, being fat can’t coexist with being healthy, and if you truly want to “work on” the problem it can only mean dropping pounds, rather than rationally assessing how you move and eat.