We're afraid that as soon as we leave, as soon as we decide to let go and move on, he will come around and want that committed relationship, and we will miss the kind of relationship with him we'd been waiting and holding on for so long for.
There's no way a man in love and ready to have a committed relationship with you is going to let you just walk away if he's made that decision, or is very close to making that decision. Men are wired to be the pursuers; it's in their genetic makeup, and nothing you do or say (or don't do or don't say) can alter that. So if you're in the same situation I found myself in many times over my dating career, staying with a guy wondering all along if he's ever going to want the kind of committed relationship that you truly want, here are three signs that make it more likely: 1. Not just a long-term relationship or a live-in relationship that gave the appearance of being a committed relationship; I'm talking here about a fully committed relationship where he was emotionally present from start to finish.
Unless he is willing to dig deeper and discover why he cannot move beyond that point for him, there is usually not much chance that you will magically be the one who prompts him to suddenly change that point of no return. You can talk to him about commitment or the lack of one.If you can talk about this subject with him, there is hope.But still, to know that he was emotionally capable of one in the past, gives some hope that he could eventually be capable of one again, given enough time and trust building to see that it could happen again.How many relationships he's been in is also a factor, because someone who has been in many committed relationships but has never committed fully to any one of them is a warning sign that this person is not capable of moving beyond a certain level of commitment, even though he may think he is because he has been in committed relationships before.He is going to find you and track you down if he decides he's going to step up and make the commitment to you that you've been holding out for – it won't matter where in the world you've gone too! This is a slippery one though, because sometimes it is because he was so committed before that he doesn't ever want to be involved like that again.
If he was really hurt before, if there was a betrayal of trust, then there is a greater likelihood he will not want to be in another committed relationship.
Just like any situation with the opposite sex, there are exceptions to the rule, because there is no one-size-fits-all set of rules for every relationship; but being unofficial for too long while one person wants more is usually a situation destined for disaster.
Someone’s feelings will end up hurt if it drags on too long.
If I am spending a lot of time around a man and we are ‘playing couple’ without a commitment, I’ve decided that after six months, playtime is over.
This is usually because one of us wants more than what the other is willing to give.
I’ve chosen to be proactive and make every attempt to prevent those crushed feelings from being my own.