While an abuser’s use of alcohol may have an effect on the severity of the abuse or the ease with which the abuser can justify his actions, an abuser does not become violent “because” drinking causes him to lose control of his temper.
As described more fully in the section on theories of violence, domestic violence is used to exert power and control over another; it does not represent a loss of control.
Anger and violence can become concerns as a relationship deteriorates.
Frustrations will be high, but if someone is using a substance that is known to cause aggression, the situation may be even more dangerous.
Understanding some of the theories that have been advanced to explain the substance-violence relationship can, however, help advocates design interventions that can increase women’s safety and help men choose non-violence.
Most importantly, domestic violence and substance abuse should be understood and treated as independent problems: “[T]he reduction of one problem to the familiar language and interventions of the other problem is ill-advised.” At the same time, because the relationship between substance abuse and domestic violence is complex, institutions that address these problems together must be capable of managing their complexity.
They may think others will not understand or accept the situation, which breeds the tendency to be secretive with their loved one.
They may lie about: With increased lying and deception associated with secrecy, it is only a matter of time until the significant other begins to notice differences between fact and fiction.Since relationships often cannot compete with the euphoric experience of substance use, the user will typically put less time and energy into maintaining the relationship, allowing various damaging elements to begin to surface.Someone that begins using alcohol or other drugs excessively may not be outwardly open about their use due to strong feelings of shame, guilt, and fear of judgment.The loved one may begin to develop trust issues due to the perceived lack of respect, honesty, and loyalty.Trust is essential to feelings of safety and care in a relationship and reduced trust often leads to the emergence of a number of relationship-damaging issues like jealousy, anger, fear, and resentment.Drugs known to increase anger, irritability, and violence include Living with an addict or alcoholic can put the loved one at greater risk of victimization.